Here’s Parts 1 &2 (as per CBS Guidelines) of the episode “Walking Bear, Running Wolf” by THE FEDERATION FILES. Directed by Glen Wolfe for WOLFE REYNOLDS PRODUCTIONS. Produced by Dan Reynolds, who was also the DP for this. In this I reprise my role as Walking Bear from Star Trek The Animated Series. Many thanks to all that were involved-it was great working with you and hopefully we will do so again in future projects. LLAP.
-Check out a huge list of NoSS Reviews, good & bad, by clicking HERE.
-Here’s another one of my “retro” posts due to lack of time on the day in question. Unlike some of the others, this one is three years overdue. Great huh? Better late than never right?
-Three years ago on this day Robin Williams was found dead after committing suicide via hanging. The news hit me like a ton of bricks. Robin Williams was such a brilliant comic and actor. In my opinion, his improv skills were second to none and seemed inexhaustible. I’ve watched him in various roles as an actor and comic for many years. And, while nowhere near his level, I do wonder if, subconsciously, the times when I’m on stage and / or on set where I’m rattling off joke after jokes isn’t some slight nod to him. While in a league of his own as a comic, he was also great with drama-as his various acting awards prove. Many quotes I see online that are attributed to him came from lines his characters said in various movies.
-Reading about the hardships he had to endure throughout his life made me admire him even more. I have had, and continue to have from time to time, battles with depression-which started just as I was hitting 9th-10th grade. I never turned to drugs and alcohol, but instead internalized it, which-some might argue-caused as much damage in a way-if not more. It would seem that, while he could make so many people happy, he couldn’t give that to himself-at least not for long. Depression is such a cruel and insidious disease. However, unlike what many believe, it was not depression, per se, that caused Robin to take his own life-although what did brought it along for the ride.
-Below is a link to an article written by his wife, Susan Schneider Williams, about what was discovered-as well as detailing events that lead up to Robin’s suicide. It’s a tragic read-especially for me-and similar, in a way, to my reactions and post about the death of Glen Campbell a few days ago. The similarity was this-both men were slowly, and literally, losing their minds; Glen with Alzheimer’s Disease and Robin with an unusually severe case of Lewy Body Dementia (DLB), which had been initially misdiagnosed as Parkinson’s Disease. You can read the full details via the link to the article below…
-In both cases, with Glen and Robin, I can’t even imagine what it would be like to slowly lose your mind-in many ways becoming like a reverse quadriplegic. Here is a quote from Susan from that article…
“Robin was losing his mind and he was aware of it. Can you imagine the pain he felt as he experienced himself disintegrating?”
-I can’t even imagine that horror of having to fight thru something like this-and I hope I never do. Like Alzheimer’s, there’s no cure for DLB. Also similar, the life expectancy of the affected, once diagnosed, is around eight years (AD can be from 3-9 years). I’m not sure where I read this from, but I did see an article (from his former wife?) where it was said that Robin was losing control of his mind and his suicide was a way-in part-of regaining that control. I don’t know.
-As an aside, I will admit to having suicidal thoughts throughout a good chunk of my life-mostly “flirtatious” ones. It’s like a bad habit that keeps waiting to be triggered. I have had to deal with multiple heavy hitters though, the last one being in November / December 2016. I do a number of things to help me recover from “the funk,” but like an alcoholic-it never fully goes away. There have also been medium sized “attacks” as well that seem to hit me every few weeks / months for a time. In a sad way, the suicide of a person I’d worked with for over ten years, Charity Bagalonis Potter-who committed suicide almost three years ago (it’s already been that long?) via hanging herself-taught me a valuable lesson. Specifically, what the result of a suicide can have on those who left behind to live life. That’s one of reasons depression is so insidious. It causes one to focus so much on what is happening within that you’re not thinking about what your actions can do to others on the outside. It doesn’t mean you don’t care. It’s just that one’s focus, on your own pain and emptiness, becomes so strong that nothing else can come in-and that’s where the time comes to either give in to the disease or fight for another day. There’s a popular saying-“When does depression end? When it ends you.” I don’t know how much I could have helped, but I so wish I could have talked to her-to try and help her. I was at the calling hours and it was heartbreaking, but I’ll never forget the aftermath, on that day, of what her suicide had done to those who were her friends and family. I didn’t know her that well (mostly work buddies, but we did hang out out outside of work a few times), but I knew her enough that I know if she was fully aware of how much pain they would all being going thru (and, I think it’s safe to say for many, still going through), it would’ve been enough for her to stop that action-at least that time. But I also know that one can’t fight forever-and maybe Robin had reached that point. The article above (via that link) highlights that and it’s so sad that such a talent was taken away before his time.
-The clip above is taken from an episode of “Inside The Actor’s Studio”-almost the entire episode. An awesome example of Robin’s exceptional talent and quick mind. One thing that I did take away from this when I recently watched the whole thing was that, whenever the questions got personal, more often than not he would just go “ON” and-at times-avoided the answer-at least for awhile. One comment on that clip states it perfectly…
“You could see how hard it was for Robin to be honest about his true self without joking about it. I have always done this too, its easier to make people laugh than let people in on how sad you truly are.”
-This is a defensive move and I can relate to that to a degree. There have been many times where it seems I’m quite happy on the outside, but quite sad / empty on the inside. I’ve had a few people tell me they can tell, at times, because of my eyes. I don’t know. It may not seem so, but there is a side of me that’s quite private. Maybe when I finally write “WAYNE-THE BOOK”….
-I’m three years late, but still…R.I.P. Robin…
-Yes, this is one of my “retro posts”-I’m actually typing this in the early morning of 8/15, but I finally got some free time to do this-as well as wanting to get this done before it’s too far past-like the other two I still have to do, but I digress…
-When I was growing up, the first music I remember being exposed to was stuff that my parents listened to. I don’t remember too much of it-in terms of initial impact, except for a number of specific songs: Some of those include “Seasons in the Sun” (Terry Jacks)-which was always a sad song for me cause it’s about saying goodbye to loved ones, “Cats in the Cradle” (Harry Chapin)-which, sorry, I didn’t like the song then and I’m still not too fond of it now, “Rubber Room” by Porter Wagner-which scared the crap out of my little mind back then, and “I Like Beer” (Tom T. Hall)-which is kinda funny cause I have never, ever, liked the taste of beer. 😛 I have to say that Elvis got a lot of play on the record player back then, as well as Tom Jones-which is my earliest memory with music. This is all pre-1977 by the way-from what I remember. After that I started buying records-my first being a choice between “Double Vision” by Foreigner and “Destroyer” by KISS. Kind of ironic that, considering how big of a KISS fan I am, I picked Foreigner…Followed soon afterwards with anything that had to do with Star Wars and what was on the radio at the time.
-The other song that I remember the initial impact was “Rhinestone Cowboy” by Glen Campbell. It just had a great hook and, it’s kinda funny how, a few times, during the days when I was heavily into playing out and pushing with my band CAROLINE BLUE, how that song would kind of pop into my head-cause it talks about pushing and surviving in the music business. Followed closely by that was his song “By The Time I Get To Phoenix,” which-to me-is just a very sad song. Maybe it’s the depressive part of me, but I can visually that song very vividly.
-Of course, there are other hits like “Southern Nights,” “Wichita Lineman” and “Gentle On My Mind,” but I also discovered early on what a phenomenal musician he was-specifically on guitar. Years ago I saw a clip of him playing “Classical Gas” ( Mason Williams) and was like, “Wow!” I didn’t know he could play like that-and in the 70’s no less. I just searched for it and, this isn’t the same clip, but it’s the same show. Listen to some of those runs when it’s just the orchestra in the middle-again, this was the 70’s. I also had no idea, at the time, that he was part of the famed Wrecking Crew-who have played on so many hit records in the 60s and 70s.
-Years ago, I read that Glen Campbell had Alzheimer’s Disease- a condition that which is a slow, progressive loss of memory to where it’s almost like one just disappears into their own little world, unable to remember even close loved ones. Gradually, bodily functions are lost, ultimately leading to death. Once diagnosed, life expectancy is from three to nine years. There is currently no cure. For someone like me, who cherishes memory so much, this disease is so terrifying. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to have your memory slowly stripped away from you. I really do wish I had a chance to see him perform live. From what I read, performing live is where he was like his “old” self-almost like he didn’t have the disease more often than not.
-Initially, I was thinking of putting “Rhinestone Cowboy” or even “By The Time I Get To Phoenix” as the music video for this, but in the end, I chose his last song-“I’m Not Gonna Miss You”-which is incredibly sad-especially when you realize real quick that he’s saying that “he’s not going to miss you” because he won’t be able to remember you due to the Alzheimer’s. Like I said before, I can’t even imagine what’s it’s like to go through that, but I hope he is now at peace.
8/4/2017-REVIEWS-Three New Reviews for “Night of Something Strange” (Horror Syndicate / Rogue Cinema / [Re] Search My Trash)
In addition, below is a link to the page that has all the past reviews I’ve seen so far-feel free to check those out as well 🙂
From THE FEDERATION FILES. I reprise my role as Walking Bear ( from Star Trek The Animated Series) in this one. 🙂
In commemoration of Gene Roddenberry’s birthday, Walking Bear, Running Wolf will be released August 19th.
7/31/2017-WRITE UPS / VIDEO-“Night of Something Strange” Write-Up / Interview in Issue #1 of Gruesome Magazine
Here’s a little video I did on 7/14/2017 to show off the NIGHT OF SOMETHING STRANGE write-up / #interview with director Jonathan Straiton in Issue number one of GRUESOME MAGAZINE-and, I guess, to show how I look like when trying to film a video at 5 AM (HA!) 🙂 I got some nice kudos in this as well. \m/
Issue number one of Gruesome Magazine is available in both print and digital editions via the link below.